Why can't anything come easy? Why do the turns and flips and twists have to ruin a happy time? Why me? Nothing in my life has been easy, maybe as a kid I made them hard, the things I did, the roads I took, but that was back then, I'm not a stupid young kid anymore, I have a wonderful life, a caring husband, a good job and we are growing together and planning our life, starting a family and now my life feels like it is turned upside down and I don't know which way is which and I just don't know what to do or how to feel or well anything.
My stepson has a very rare genetic disorder, he is over in Poland right now seeing a wonderful doctor who is truely helping him so much. She rediagosed him recently with an even rarer disorder than before. The news which is good is that the disorder stops progressing in time. BUT recently we learned that it is a dominate gene. Which means either my husband or my stepsons mother definatly has this mutated gene in their body. Now we HAVE to go for genetic testing to find out for sure. THEN after the testing we need to decide to have kids or not. This is so hard, if it comes back postive for the mutation in my husband all our children may have this disorder, maybe they won't but they will be carriers and then our grandchildren might have it. I feel selfish in thinking how badly I want to have children and we really need to think about the future children in our family line. It's not just about us... it's about all the future generations. And I'm sorry but that is a very hard choice to make.
So I cry when I think about it, I don't know what else to do. I just don't know if I can make that choice. I need to call our health insurance and find out what exactly is covered for genetic testing but yet I can't bring myself to pick up the phone to do it.... I'm so afraid of the end results I can't take the first steps in finding out the answers!
Subscribe to:
Post Comments (Atom)
No comments:
Post a Comment